Mr Rochester's Lover
by xin79
Summary: "It's one thing to believe in sacrifices, it's another thing to live with it." This story takes place a few weeks before Sec. Marsh died, during a trip for a weekend at his ranch in Caracas with Nadine. This is set around the time when he was seriously thinking of running for President and what it means for the two of them.


**A/N: Hi, my name is Max. With the season ending, I feel like it is high time I write this story. I've always been curious with Sec. Marsh and Nadine's relationship. It was mentioned that they have been together for six years, they have talked about after the "divorce" and we saw how devastated she was when he died and she had to find out all other things about him. This story will take place a few weeks before he died and I plan on exploring how it came to be. Was it just lust, opportunism or did he really love her. This story also came about because I heard of this song titled Stay by Sugarland and it was perfect. Also, I don't own the characters.I hope you like it and let me know. (Those in italics are flashbacks)**

_The alarm clock on the nightstand glowed amidst the darkness; making it known that it's almost three in the morning. You reach blindly next to you, immediately your hands getting lost in his salt and peppered hair, his head comfortably nestled on your lap. It's growing colder by each minute and not even the satin sheet wrapped snugly around you is not enough to provide comfort. Soon, the phone beside yours on the nightstand will glow, reminding both of you of the life that you must embark soon. _

_The impending feeling of loss is creeping in and no matter how many times you've been through this it doesn't seem easier each time. You feel him move beside you and that feeling alone was enough to send shivers on your spine. This was the part you hated the most; the constant feeling of wanting to push but knowing that no matter what, you need to hold back. You want to tell yourself that it's ok, that he will be back and that nothing will change. And for a moment, you revel on the thought that nothing will ever change but that feeling too was fleeting because with every goodbye, you yearn more and more for him to stay. It's moments like these that make you stay up all night long, wondering about things you know you have no control of. _

_You look at his sleeping frame, wondering how he could sleep so soundly like all is well in the world. And on certain nights, it can be but not tonight- especially not like this. You dared to stroke his face, thinking how fast the past six years went by and now more than ever, you keep thinking that the end is nearing. How it will go, both of you never dared to ask or even think but both of you know that deep down, some decisions need to be made. After all, it has been six years._

* * *

"You can come in you know." She called out gently from the inner sanctum of the room.

"Oh." He began as he entered the spacious bedroom looking for where she might be. He reckoned she was in the walk in closet seeing that her luggage was carefully splayed out on top of the bed. "I wasn't sure if..."

Unable to continue his train of thought, he wasn't at all surprised that she didn't respond. It was one more thing left up in the air, hoping against hope that it will take care of itself like all other things. This room has been her respite for so long after all, insisting that the Master Bedroom was not befitting. And without qualms, he too agreed. But unlike all other times they have stayed here, he could not help but wonder if this time around he was after all sleeping in the Masters right across the hall from this one.

The room was dim with only the bed side lamp illuminating the entire space. She never liked it when things were too bright and initially, that bothered him but now he too has grown accustomed to it. Kicking of his shoes he proceeded towards the bed; its comfort beckoning him to stay and rest his weary muscles.

"You've always loved this book." He said picking up her glasses as well as the book lying on top of the table, tracing the leather spine with his hands then slightly dusting the cover "After all these years."

"It's timeless." She replied admiring the third edition copy of Jane Eyre on his hands before she distracted herself again with the clothes that were still on the bed.

Flipping through the pages, he chanced upon an old poloroid picture of himself and Nadine. He had his arms around her back while she was holding the copy of the said book, excitement evident in her eyes. Scribbled at the bottom were the words _Christmas '08_. He remembered that day with distinct fondness. They had a last minute negotiation with the Union trying to avoid an airline strike during the holidays and just as they were able to close the deal, a blizzard came and they were all stuck in New York. It was just him, Nadine- then his chief legal aid, Bart his chief of staff and Jay. Christmas Eve and they were in the City stranded and unable to come home for the holidays. Shops were close then and he distinctly remembered they feasted on pasta and a cheap red wine which Nadine got from the gift basket and which she prepared.

"Who took this?" He turned slightly towards her as she climbed joining him on the bed.

"I think it was Jay."

"Huh." Amused, he looked at the picture more closely.

"If I remember correctly, Jay gave it to me after we had dinner. You know, he always had his Poloroid camera back then."

"Yeah, he would never go anywhere without it." Vincent added, remembering how enthusiastic he was to be working for him back in the day. It was his big break, as he would say and every so often, he would take pictures to immortalize the moment.

"He always had this fear that he would get fired or sent back home to Texas." She finished.

Jay never got fired, in fact he proved to be more than an ace to his team and now, he felt he needed him more than ever. And just like that, his thoughts once again brought him back to reality. If only Jay knew what was in store for him next election cycle, he would surely flip.

Nadine too was aware of what he was thinking but unlike him, she wasn't too excited of the new prospect. Six years had gone by and now more than ever she felt the weight of what it is they were doing and that thought alone caused her burden.

Taking the picture from him, she tucked it in the book. It had been Vincent's gift to her that Christmas when he had accidentally poured coffee on her old one. It had been a lovely surprise when she had opened the package and saw the earlier edition copy of that book, the last one Charlotte Bronte herself edited. She guessed that was why Jay took the picture. It had always amused Vincent that she did her senior thesis on Victorian Literature back in college before she attended Law School. She distinctly remembered that it was the first thing that peak his interest back when she had her first interview for the job. It was that one single line in her resume that made Vincent hire her.

"_Charlotte Bronte huh?" With one hand he was holding her resume and with other resting on his hips; a smirk playing on his lips not knowing exactly if he was amused or mocking her. _

Silence overtook them, each left to their own thoughts- a million things racing on their mind. Just as she was about to say something, her cellphone erupted into a ring on the table beside him and he was able to catch a glimpse of the caller before he passed the device to her.

"_Hey Judy." _ She answered as she looked to him. _"No. I did not forget. It's just that something came up and I had to leave for a few days." _He heard her say. He knew where the conversation was going and soon she will begin her well practiced speech and say it to her sister. He knew better than to intervene of course and instead he watched her, noticing how tired and uneasy she felt all of a sudden. _ "I'm in Caracas... Yes, I'm with him...Judy...Judy..." _Now completely turning her back on him, she moved towards the edge of the bed, her posture more defeated than ever. Her back was hunched and her other arm was draped across her stomach as if holding herself. He knew the conversation Judy was giving her and he wanted to reach out and the grab the phone and shut it, but he knew he can't. He knew better than to offer comfort to her too, so instead of reaching out or doing something, he watched her hoping his presence was enough to give her comfort. _"Look Judy, I am jet lagged and I haven't slept for 48 hours, can we please have this conversation when I get back. I promise I will be there for Andrew's birthday...Ok, I love you too."_

* * *

_"That is not a life for you Nadine." Judy said as she washed the plates, handing the newly rinsed one to her sister. She looked up briefly across the room, watching Vincent play with her kids. She understood what they saw in each other and although she did not approve of the relationship, she loved her sister._

_When she didn't respond, she knew better than to push the issue. She was a grown woman, a strong willed one at that. She worried for her but what was she to say. She watched as her sister looked along, her face expressing nothing. _

_"Be careful." She finally conceded, touching her back briefly._

* * *

It was cold when she stepped out of the porch, the summer winds blowing fully. It was a beautiful night and had it been under any other circumstance, she would have asked Vincent to go for a walk but not tonight.

Sitting on the hammock, she rocked herself slowly as if lulling herself. Hoping that too would bring comfort to her. Judy's words were all she could ever hear inside her head. She was in denial for sure but deep down she knew her sister was right. She has been right for more than six years now. She always thought that as long as it was a part of his-that is a life she can handle. But she never fully understood what those words meant until they were both in too deep. It's not like they didn't see it coming. They saw it clearly; they just didn't want to acknowledge it.

Running her hands through her hair as if to clear her head, it is then that she noticed him. She always knew when he was around. It was this feeling rushing through her, somehow giving her life.

Letting out a silent laugh, she turned to him.

"This is the second time today you've done that."

"Done what?" He asked, giving her a smile as he approached her. It was good seeing her laugh. He never likes it when she was unhappy, it didn't suit her.

"You are hovering unsurely, like I'm gonna bite your head or something." Nadine replied as she stood up letting him sit down before she allowed him to pull her along with him. Sitting on his lap, she suddenly felt all the tension she felt earlier dissipate.

"I'm sorry."

Not providing anything more, she turned slightly towards him, his arms still wrapped snugly around her. The smile on his face was still there and she couldn't help but give in. Without saying a word, she leaned in kissing him. She felt him smile wider as they kissed. The feeling of his mouth on hers was always like a drug, something she had always yearned for. It still astonished her how easy it was for him to give her exactly what she wanted. Pulling away, Vincent tucked her hair wanting to see her better. She had the most beautiful eyes, one thing he noticed immediately the first time he met her. Her eyes spoke volumes and all Nadine wanted to do was hide; to find respite from his piercing gaze but she knew better than that. They always knew what the other was thinking or feeling just by looking at the other.

"You ok?" He asked gently still not loosening her grip. Nodding her head in reply, she knew Vincent was not completely sold. But at this instant she felt ok. And they always lived in the moment.

"Judy wanted to know if I'll be home in time for Andrew's birthday." She supplied, changing her position- resting her back against his chest.

"What did you tell her?"

"I said I would be."

Feeling him nod, silence overtook them once again only this time, it was not awkward. She could feel him curling a few strands of her hair on his finger and oddly enough, it was relaxing for both of them.

"Hon." He began, feeling braver all of a sudden. "I'm sorry."

She stilled for a moment, unsure of how to react.

"I know I haven't been the easiest person to get along with, not only in the office but outside of it too. And the other night, during the Gala, it was so unthinking of me."

Taking his hand into hers, she didn't respond and instead waited for him to continue.

"I should have called you and told you that she was coming. And the words I said after, that was just unacceptable and acted like a complete ass."

"You did." She agreed, breaking her silence all of a sudden.

"I was jealous you know. He was all over you and you kept laughing with him and I..." Releasing an exasperated breath, Vincent rested his head on the crook of her neck. What he did say that night was painful and it did bother her. But what was she to do. She always understood her place in this twisted relationship- but that night really forced them to look at how fast things have changed and will continue to change.

Reaching for him, she gently stoke his head before she too moved, looking him directly straight in the eye admitting something she had never said aloud before.

"I have never been with anyone else for the past six years Vince aside from you."


End file.
